Your Parrothead Name

Yes, your friends already think you're a little crazy. We understand - there's something about a Buffett show that transforms normal, everyday people into a partying, parrot-wearing alter ego of themselves. Well, we've decided it's high time you acknowledge that partying Parrothead style is more than just a hobby, it's a full-fledged part of your psyche. In that spirit, it's time to name your alter ego, and you can do that simply by answering the following questions as truthfully as possible.

1. First Name:
2. Tequila?
	a)  Okay - Pepe Lopez NOW
	b)  Sure - Jose Cuervo Please
	c)  Absolutely – Cabo Wabo would be great right now
	d)  You have to ask? – A shot of Patron. . . por favor
	e)  Sheesh – Only Berry flavored wine coolers for me - hot shot
3. When you drink your tequila straight, do you drink it with:
	a)  Nothing - no sissy training wheels for me
	b)  Lime
	c)  A lime and salt
	d)  A woman - I only do body shots
	e)  Eww! People actually drink that stuff?
4. Know what a body shot is?
	a)  Somebody get me some tequila and an open minded person!!
	b)  I’ve seen it done before
	c)  Can’t you get cooties from that?
	d)  Of course – I’ve watched Ultimate Fighting
	e)  My mother doesn’t let me talk to anybody of the opposite sex
5. If you saw a guy in a giant parrot costume walking down the street would you:
	a)  Head in a different direction
	b)  Beat him up thinking he was Barney
	c)  Point and laugh
	d)  Ask him where the Buffett show was
	e)  I'd BE the guy in the giant parrot costume
6. Dominos:
	a)  Play
	b)  Don’t play
	c)  Learning at college
	d)  Like to watch them fall
	e)  Pizza?  Do I get free Cheesy bread?
7. Do you believe that ganja should be legalized?
	a)  No - all drugs are bad
	b)  Yes, for medical purposes only
	c)  Yes, for recreational purposes only
	d)  Too stoned to answer right now - need Cheetos
	e)  It is where I live (NOTE: please send samples to ganja@keylimecafe.com)
8. Jimmy Buffett:
	a)  Is god
	b)  Is entertaining as hell
	c)  Is old
	d)  Is a decent songwriter
	e)  Is that really rich investment banker guy
9. Have you ever been to Key West?
	a)  No, but I'm dying to
	b)  Yes, on a cruise ship once
	c)  I'm there now in spirit
	d)  They tell me I have been and I had a great time
	e)  Why would I want to go there?
10. How cold does it have to be before you'll take off your shorts and put on long pants?
	a)  Below 60 degrees - I live in Southern California
	b)  Below 50 degrees - I live in Florida
	c)  Below 40 degrees - I get goose bumps
	d)  Below 30 degrees - I love wearing shorts
	e)  It’s never too cold for shorts
11. Where is the most exotic place you've made love?
	a)  The beach at sunset
	b)  On the deck of a boat during a full moon
	c)  A car in a Border's Books parking lot
	d)  The couch once, and my parents were home
	e)  Umm – still waiting for the first time
12. What is "Purple Passion?"
	a)  Slang for an erect male organ
	b)  The Barney fan club
	c)  Gay pride
	d)  An elixir that makes me more attractive
	e)  I'll let you know when I get the color off my tongue and sober up
13. When you talk about Jimmy Buffett do your friends:
	a)  Raise their hands above their heads to make fins signs
	b)  Grab their blenders and tequila
	c)  Email you Dave Matthews MP3s with a note to get some current music
	d)  Say "Okay!" and then wink before laughing
	e)  Friends?
14. Have you ever worn a Hawaiian shirt to work on other than Halloween?
	a)  Yeah - as long as I wear a tie, they don't care
	b)  Yeah - once - then had to find a new job
	c)  Yeah - but they insisted that if it didn't have the golden arches logo that I had to change
	d)  Yeah - they know I'm crazy anyway
	e)  Pffsstt! Work is for sissies!
15. Grass skirts and coconut bras:
	a)  Make me horny
	b)  Are in my closet
	c)  I'm wearing them now 'cause I'm a girl
	d)  I'm wearing them now and I'm a guy
	e)  Not since the restraining order
16. How early in the day is acceptable to drink margaritas?
	a)  After 9PM - it's adult entertainment after all
	b)  After 5PM - as soon as I get out of work
	c)  At lunch time - helps me survive the rest of the work day
	d)  Breakfast - hey, lime is fruit
	e)  I’ve never really lost my buzz so the question is moot!
17. Do you know what a Parrothead is?
	a)  Yeah!! – I founded a club!
	b)  Yep!  I’m in a club
	c)  My cool friends told me once – ‘cept I don’t remember
	d)  Something that sits on top of a Parrot body?
	e)  hehehe – sounds dirty
18. Ever done any smuggling?
	a)  Yep – I could have bought Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
	b)  A couple of Cubans here and there
	c)  My friends tell me that I’m always smuggling raisins
	d)  Isn’t that against the law?
	e)  hehehe – sounds dirty
19. Read any books?
	a)  “Where is Joe Merchant” is my favorite
	b)  “A Pirate Looks at 50” is the best I ever read
	c)  Anything off the Oprah Book Club
	d)  I need a lot of pictures and big print
	e)  Umm – I’m having someone read this to me.
20. Travel for fun often?
	a)  I travel so much I’ve received an honorary pilot’s license
	b)  I wouldn’t say a lot – I spent a week at home last year
	c)  I take a couple vacations a year
	d)  I’ve driven to see the third largest ball of string once
	e)  I travel between my couch and bed
21. Sex?
	a)  Sure
	b)  Every night – I just wish there was someone else in the room
	c)  Can’t you get cooties like that
	d)  I’m having sex right now
	e)  I could teach you a thing or two

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